no less

My mom is dying, she is 90. She has a bleeding stroke,

i have looked
at the face of death
again
must i die again
does death always win
it has made me sad
a gloom that pervades
my soul
i long for this pain
to be removed
but i cannot ask
for the end of life
i stand ready to accept it
but unwilling to embrace it
i turn my head
to avoid its eyes
for i can look at death
but i do not want death
looking at me
but could i smile
i would
for if this pain
was avoidable
my life would return to bliss
i long to take your hand
and be able to lift you from
this paleness
but i only stand
ignored
waiting for this journey
to end
but i have no power
no control
i look in the mirror
and know that at my turn
i too will fight
to the end
for one more breathe
and will hold dear life
to my bosom
but i do not
want to battle death
now or then
i do not want to watch this current lifebattle
i sit quietly and wait
for i can do
no more or
no less