close your eyes

close your eyes
open your heart
said I wasn't in a hurry
but things happened so fast
guess it is the perfect fit
just the right chemistry
no deal breakers
just went with the flow
now I don't want to let go
don't want to leave
going to stay
move with me
I know your concerns
me too
didn't think I'd fly again
but soaring like an eagle
with the spirit lifting me higher
come live with me
live this life
can I believe
where I'm at
I don't want to question
I just want to share
I'm giving all I can
and taking all you give
we have so much
I'm amazed
so fast
so good
so blessed
close your eyes
and believe with me

being pawpaw

being paw paw
it is fun having grandchildren
they give you such love and affection
like having your kids small again
I'm lucky
right now I see my grand kids everyday
I'm actively involved with their life every day
it is strange in a way
because I don't feel the responsibility to decide
my kids have to make the decisions that alter
the life of their children
I am not mommy or daddy
that doesn't affect my love for them
only it is different
I can shape them to a degree
but they have more direct influence from their parents
one of the parents doesn't have my genes
so I see less of me in them
hoping that they got my best
or at least not a lot of the worst
I will give my love
and hold them dear
but I am still paw paw

hard to feel

I guess it is hard to feel
when you have been hurt
so many times before
I too have been hurt
but it was just life
not other people
when you give your heart
and people turn away
or hurt you
it must be hard
to say I can do this again
but am I just trying to overcome the loneliness
it is hard to trust what has been torn before
can it mend and be strong again
or is it still weak and full of holes
I offer only my failed strength
for my past has failed me also
my past has led me here
as has yours
I dream not of yesterday
I dream not of tomorrow
I dream of a today
so full of happiness
full of you
perhaps next week
maybe later
the feeling will be strong
or maybe not
I'm willing to wait
I will wait for you to let me
I will wait for to let yourself
I will wait but will continue to care
continue to hold you
for I know that you feel
I can wait for you to realize that feeling

mad at me

I felt you were mad at me
that is okay
but i guess that you're not
comfortable enough with me to talk about it
or you felt you would just get over it
and felt it wasn't worth talking about
so you got quiet and pulled back
I felt it
I need you
I want you
I want all of you
please don't keep me out
I will not run
I probably will say too much
but I need you to share your emotions
with me
I know it is scary but
I want all of you
good and not so good
sexy and cold
tender and rough
clean and dirty
happy and sad
mad and glad
you want honesty
be honest with me
we can help each another
heal the hurt
I guess you don't want my hurt
but if you are honest
sometimes it hurts
touch me and I will feel the emotion
let me touch you and feel your pain
let us hug and cure the pain
be mad at me on the outside not the inside
I can hear your words
hard to read your mind
Why is not important
only that you care
I want you to know I do
care so much

I'm not hungry

I'm not hungry
no fire in my belly
am I sated
or satisfied
no matter
I don't want to question
I don't want to cry
or yell or ask why
feel good
no great
earlier today I was questioning
if this would last
no concern now
I would do nothing different
now I realize my loss
I must deal with it
the pain is subsiding
the hurt lessens
I still have the love
it was not lost
I changed back to what I was
so I am the same
no better
no worse
Dear Lord I pray to you
help those I pray for
help us sweet Jesus
accept thy will
for by thy grace I/we are saved

the moment is good

I always thought I was normal
then I realized that wasn't so
all my life I have accused of living in a parallel universe
I just don't see things the way everyone else does
I see humor in everything even death
I feel good most of the time
when others are bored I amused
I feel that I see meaning behind words and actions
that others don't
When I'm alone I don't feel lonely
perhaps I don't recognize things
I ignore some of the bad and see the good
I think I say things in a way
a way that is moving
listen to my prattle
I feel especially good tonight and guess
I just wanted to ramble
may you close you eyes and see
may you sleep and dream
may you awaken and smile
for I must enjoy the moment
for the moment is good

just so I know

I felt your touch
but didn't understand
I kissed you
and you kissed back so passionately
did I miss something
or are you asking me to lead
I try but you resist
you hold me tenderly
and touch me so sensually
what are you telling me
I guess
that you want to feel me
but that is enough
just because you take a step
doesn't mean your ready to take another
enjoy the feeling
enjoy the sensation
kiss me with that same invitation
hold me
caress me
fill me with emotion not desire
just say you care
say I move you
just so I know